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Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Wedding Dreams

My daughter is getting married at the end of this month. The only wedding preparation experience I have is comprised of planning and executing my own wedding thirty-three years ago.

But my daughter who has never been a planner, who has - for most of her thirty-year life - waited until the last minute to plan and execute has her wedding plans under control. I'm - to say the least - surprised and thrilled. I don't have to do anything but drive the one thousand-plus miles and show up to attend.

My daughter's future mother-in-law has a different approach to the wedding plans and wants desperately to involve herself. From the phone calls I have received from my daughter I can only shake my head and pity her and her fiancee.

For instance, I received a call from my daughter two days ago as she drove to pick up her fiancee from work.

"You want to hear the latest news?" she asks with sarcasm that oozes through my cell.

"Sure... Shoot," I respond anxious to hear what the future mother-in-law, Marsha, has thought up this time.

"Marsha told Chris (the fiancee) not to tell me but she wants to blow up of picture of me. She wants a huge picture of me for all the guests (attending the wedding) to sign." Exasperation from her now flows through my cell. "Chris' sister-in-law had it done and now she has an enormous picture of herself with tons of signatures hanging on her wall."

I emit a snort.

"Mo-omm! I don't want an enormous picture of myself with signatures scribbled all over it! What am I going to do with that?" she wails.

"Didn't I tell you she was going to come up with something else despite you and Chris telling her not to plan any surprises?"

"Yes," my daughter concedes. "You know what else she wants to do?"

"I can't imagine."

"She wants to hand out bottles of bubbles to everyone to blow at me and Chris."

I laugh out loud.

"Can you just see Maw-maw, Pa-pa, you, Dad, and (brother) Erik standing there blowing bubbles at me and Chris? I mean, we're not even leaving the church by ouselves! We're all leaving together to go to Marsha's house for the reception. What will everyone do? Stand there blowing bubbles at me and Chris while he and I stand there looking like idiots before we all leave for Marsha's house?"

I'm at a lose for words. "Well, Honey..." This is beyond funny now.

"And now she and Chris' dad told us they won't help us pay for a party for everyone who we didn't invite to the wedding," she whines.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, they spent ten thousand dollars on Chris' brother's wedding but they won't help us with the party. I mean, we're not talking but maybe five hundred dollars. Chris said he feels worthless."

"Awww, poor guy."

"Yeah, and Chris' brother and his wife aren't even responsible. Their baby went without shoes this winter, they have maxed out their credit cards, the wife wanted another baby so she got prenant then quit her job! They can't even take care of themselves and the baby they have! Chris' mom said she can't help us because she has to help Chris' irresponsible brother!"

"Sounds to me like you and Chris have to be irresponsible in order to get help."

"I know," she yells.

"Dang it. I wish I had money to help you," I lament.

"No, Mom. You have helped me and (brother) Erik tons over the past twelve years. That's not what upsets me. Marsha said she and Chris' dad would help us but now tell us they won't."

"What a bitch," I say.

"Yeah..."

"I hate her liver, tongue and vocal cords," I continue as anger swells. But this makes my daughter laugh.

"Mom, I love you. I'm so glad I can talk to you."

I smile and say, "I love you too, Baby."

"Thanks for letting me talk to you. I have to go now. Chris is coming out (from work)."

"Okay, Sweetie. Hang in there."

"I will, Mom. Bye."

""Bye, Baby."

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